Reflection on 1 Peter 3:3-7

So, last night’s Bible study was about relationships. The text, 1 Peter 3:3-7 speaks to both women and men. It tells the women about true beauty and it’s source. It tells men how women should be treated. Here are my rambling thoughts on the subject.

Let me go backwards...as far as the man’s role in taking care of the woman, Peter is speaking specifically to husbands telling them to live intimately with their wives, knowing them deeply and treating them with honor and great caution as the precious and fragile vessel they are. Ok, so what about us women who have been forced to become independent because there is no man to treat us that way? We have to kill our own bugs, drive our own nails, fix our own leaky faucets, maintain our own vehicles, earn our own living, protect ourselves out in the world and most importantly, see to our own spiritual growth and maturity. These are things that a man is supposed to do for his wife. Obviously, he’s not supposed to do them because she can’t. I’ve been doing for myself for years. I don’t need a husband for those things, but I want one. I don’t particularly like killing my own bugs. I truly believe that the husband doing those things for a wife fulfills a deeper need in both the man and the woman. The man needs to feel needed, appreciated and wanted. He needs to be the strong protector, the decision-maker, the leader, the fixer of things. The woman also needs to feel needed, appreciated and wanted. She needs to have the security of a man’s strong protection, the peace in a man’s ability to make decisions for the family, the comfort of knowing her needs are taken care of and the cherished understanding that a man is going to do for her what Christ did for the Church—give his life up, present her as a radiant bride, without blemish or wrinkle, love her as his own body (Ephesians 5:25-31).

So, where does this leave us single women? I know not every woman is supposed to marry, some are called to singleness and therefore must depend on the Lord for the things mentioned above. But what about those of us who long for marriage, but it’s just not happened yet? We long for the man who will be our protector, spiritual leader, provider and lover. But, we’re stuck waiting. The church is full of women waiting for men to do their job. Many of us are still single because there hasn’t come along a man who can lead spiritually…many are the men who can protect us physically, provide for us financially and kill the bugs, fix the faucet and maintain the vehicle, but the spiritual leaders are few and far between.

Men, single and married, have fumbled the ball and women have had to pick it up and keep going. We’re determined not to let the enemy force a turnover. Women are fighting for their families, taking their kids to church, gutting it out single and taking on leadership roles in the church because the men just aren’t doing it. Sure, there are some, but walk into any church in the world (with rare exception) and observe the ratio. Ever since the Garden of Eden, when Adam, who was with Eve stood by and watched her fall into the Devil’s trap, men have been falling down on their job. Hopefully, this does not sound like a bitter diatribe from a single woman who longs to be married; it is an honest, though not pretty, observation of reality.

Women have also failed in their role of submissiveness. Peter clearly states that what made Sarah beautiful was her submissiveness to Abraham. Although we know she was outwardly beautiful as well because of the accounts of Abraham lying and saying she was his sister to keep from being killed by men who might want her. There are other examples of outward beauty with the women of old-look at Rachel and Leah. So, what do we do with this biblical teaching about true beauty? As women, we have failed to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit. We have failed submit to authority and instead have sought our own will, asserted our own independence. Many women have rejected marriage in the pursuit of a career, while others of us have pursued a career because marriage didn’t present itself as an option. Women have turned to outward beauty as a source of self-worth resulting in immodest dress, exhorbitant spending on beauty products and treatments and obsession with clothes, shoes and accessories. Why do we do this? Beauty makes a woman feel powerful because it gets the man’s attention and makes the other women jealous. But as we know charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).

So what are we to do? I say the only thing we can do is examine ourselves to make sure that we are doing what we know God has called us to do. Look inward and make sure we are not failing at our role of biblical manhood or womanhood and make the necessary changes. Then, pray, pray, pray for the church. Pray for men to stand up and be men. Pray for women to accept their role as women. Pray for spiritual leaders, assertive, yet gentle men to be raised up and to pursue the godly women in an appropriate way. Pray for single women to not give in to fear, but to wait for the right man, to be submissive to authority and willing to give up their independence. Pray for the church to teach these concepts of biblical manhood and womanhood. Pray for men and women around the world to understand and obey the clear teachings of God’s Word on their roles and to determine in their hearts to carry out with their actions what they know God would have them to be.

Here’s where I currently stand in this effort:
To begin with, the concept of beauty is a tricky one. I know that Biblical beauty comes from a gentle and quiet spirit, a precious and valuable thing in God’s sight. Is it precious and valuable in man’s? To a godly man, it should be, but so many Christian men are still looking for the outward beauty that Proverbs tells us is fleeting. Beauty also comes from submissiveness, specifically to a husband. So, what if you have no husband? I know we are to be submissive to authority both in society and in the church, but does that scream ‘beautiful’ to those around us? Peter goes on to say that we are Sarah’s daughters if we do what is right and do not give way to fear. Doing what is right is much easier than not giving way to fear…at least for me. I’m deathly afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, but I will keep on doing what is right, with or without a husband. I guess that is not giving way to fear. I’m determined not to let my fear of being alone cause me to compromise in the area of relationships. It has in the past and it’s very tempting to allow it to in the present. It’s not my role to seek a husband and there’s no way I’ll settle for less than God’s best. So, why do I continually find myself looking around? It is a daily struggle for me as a single missionary to submit to God's will for my life, to accept my current situation and to glorify God through it. I daily pray for my own attitude, will and actions to conform to God's perfect plan. I also daily pray for a godly husband to partner with in ministry. Unless I hear a clear word from God saying that is not in His plan for me, I will continue to do so. Now, my next step is to take my own advice and to pray for the Church.

This is a video slide show of my trip to Guatemala last week with some wonderful folks from Houston's First Baptist Church. It was called a "rookie trip" because several members of our group were first timers. You wouldn't know it, though, by the way they all jumped in and ministered to those kids! We probably played with around 700 children over the course of the week (500 in just two days!).

God used this week to show me that even if you don't have enough crafts to go around and you run out of balloons, you can give them Jesus, and that's way more important!

The first part has a lot of children because we took their pictures and printed them right there on a little photo printer I'd brought. They made frames that said "Cristo ama a ______" which means "Christ loves insert name here." Most of these children had never owned a picture of themselves, so that was a real treat. The moms also wanted to do the crafts with their children and some of them even came to get their pictures made. That was a reminder to me that these women have very little amusement in their lives and even just coloring a picture of Zaccheus can be fun for them!

Praying for my students...

Yesterday, I was driving home from work, exhausted as usual, and thinking about how to motivate my students to hang in there until Spring Break.

I was specifically thinking about one particularly unmotivated student whose name will be kept a secret since kids can access my blog. As I mused about this particular kid, I felt the Lord saying, "Karla, have you prayed for this kid or only fretted over the lack of motivation you see?" That wasn't the first time I've gotten that question and I was reminded again that worrying does no good. Prayer is the only source of power in this and every situation. So, I began praying for the student and others who I've been burdened for. Now, if I will just keep it up, I can't wait to see the results...

Questions...

Funny thing...as a teacher, you hear all kinds of questions. Good questions that give you that warm fuzzy feeling that you're actually making a difference in some kid's life. Bad questions that make you wonder why you're in this profession. Stupid questions that do exist despite the old adage. Yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question. With 13 year olds, you never know what you're going to get...every day is a new adventure.

Well, I got to thinking...I've got all these students from different religions, cultures and backgrounds and the most important thing they can do is keep asking questions. I mean, if they get to where they just accept everything they're taught just because someone older than them said it, then they'll never find the Truth. So, my new goal is to encourage the questions. Yes, even the stupid ones. I want them to keep asking, keep seeking and keep wondering about things. Now, if I can just figure out how to do that...

Wearing Out

Have you ever noticed how nothing stays new? I bought a new car last year and within a few weeks it had a small white scratch on the door from another car's door. I had to buy a new computer because my old one got so slow. We need a new dishwasher, but Granddaddy is balking on that one. Even people get older and start to break down. Everything and everyone wears out.

Why? I submit that the deterioration of stuff and people is due to the fact that we live in a fallen world--a world that was created to be perfect and everlasting, but due to sin, is now subject to decay. But there's hope. This world isn't all there is...we have a perfect and everlasting home waiting for us where nothing will break, nothing will get scratched or wear out...and neither will we.

As Christians, whenever we get a scratch on our new car or something breaks, or whenever we get sick or start to feel old age creep up on us, rather than getting upset and disappointed about the loss of newness, we should let those things remind us that a perfect Heaven awaits.

Sure, we have a responsibility to take care of things--we are to be good stewards of everything God's given us, including our bodies. But, when stuff happens that is beyond your control, try cultivating an eternal perspective and seeing these events (however painful) as opportunities to look forward to the time when all things will be made new and stay that way forever.

“Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.”
-John Wooden

theRoad

As soon as school was out, I headed up to the Hill Country to spend Thanksgiving with my family. First order on the agenda was the Burnet High School playoff game where my brother was coaching. I knew I wouldn't get there to see the whole game, but my goal was to get there by halftime. I'd printed a map of the Burnet school district and found the stadium on it, so I was armed and ready to go.

Traffic wasn't too bad getting out of Sugar Land, so I was plugging along pretty well and had made it to Bastrop when my dad called. He started giving me directions for an alternate route into Burnet. I had planned to take the route I was familiar with, which would take me along the south of Austin by the airport and then on out to where I could catch the road through Marble Falls. The route Dad was proposing sounded confusing with lots of turns and toll roads.

As I neared Austin, I had pretty much decided to stick to my plan of the familiar route when all of a sudden traffic stopped. Up ahead there was a wreck complete with flashy lights and rubber neckers, and combined with the ever-present construction, we were almost at a standstill. Up about 100 yards away, I could see the road that Dad had suggested as my alternate. I decided to go for it, even though I wasn't sure what to expect. It turned out to be a great plan. The toll road was mostly clear and my Houston toll tag worked at all the toll points...I didn't even have to slow down and wait for an arm to raise! It was dark, but the signs were all really well-lit and I was able to call Dad on the cell phone and verify that I was on the right track. Even so, there were a couple of times I second-guessed my instructions and had to call back for help. All in all, the alternate route was a much better choice than the old familiar and I only made two wrong turns before arriving at the game...right at halftime!

It's funny how we take the familiar routes in life because we're scared of the dark and unknown roads, not realizing that they may end up being better choices. When our Heavenly Father calls and gives us an alternate route, we need to be ready to strike out into the darkness and trust His guidance. Sure, sometimes we'll second-guess our intructions, misread a sign or somehow manage to take a detour, but our Father is ready to get us back on track when we do.

Lately I've noticed that my road of life has a lot of speed bumps. I think God has installed those purposely because I tend to get going too fast and I forget to stop and talk to Him about things. God wants us to take this journey of life with Him, enjoy the ride. Sometimes it's not so fun, like when the storms come, or at night, when things are all dark and you can't really see what's surrounding you. But, that's the cool part about it-God is always there with you, ready to redirect you and keep you on the right road.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths."

Isaiah 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Psalm 25:4 "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths;"