I Don't Remember a Thing...

You know it's funny...almost every time I tell someone I'm a Spanish teacher, they give me some form of the expression, "yeah, I took two years of Spanish in high school and I don't remember a thing."

Now, I could take that as a devaluation of my existence as a Spanish teacher, but then I remember Mr. Mahan, my 10th grade Geometry teacher. I remember very little of what he taught me. I couldn't tutor someone in the subject and I definitely couldn't teach it or use it as a career foundation, but there's something else Mr. Mahan did that I'll never forget...he valued me as a person. When I tore all the ligaments in my ankle the night before his final exam, I got up and went to school anyway, so I wouldn't let him down. I fell asleep in the middle of the exam (Codine will do that to ya') and he had the school call my mom to come pick me up. He told me not to worry about the test...I could make it up later. I don't remember Geometry, but I remember him. That's why I teach...not to make kids bilingual, but to make them better people.

I also remember Mrs. Kotis and Mrs. Christman. Now, these two teachers didn't value me as a person. They chose favorites and I wasn't one of them, and I knew it...they made sure I knew it. Maybe not intentionally or consciously, but with their snide comments and negative treatment, I felt their disfavor. That's why I teach...to make sure there's someone out there counteracting the Mrs. Kotises and the Mrs. Christmans. I pray I never make a kid feel the way those two women made me feel.

It doesn't matter if my students ever use their Spanish outside of class or if they remember anything I taught them when they get to be 20 or 30 years old. What matters is if they remember that Miss Turner valued them as a person, so maybe, just maybe it's ok to value themselves. That's why I teach.

Losing Your Appetite

I was watching a cheesy chick flick called Raising Helen (wonderful way to spend a lame Friday night alone) and it hit me that the big churchy word sanctification is really just about losing your appetite. Before you go, "huh? Karla's lost it," let me attempt to explain.

The movie is about a beautiful, young, successful New Yorker named Helen who is the top assistant to the owner of a premiere modeling agency. She has everything going for her until her sister and brother-in-law die and leave her with three kids ages 5-15 to raise. At the risk of ruining the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, things don't go so well and Helen ends up giving the kids over to her other sister and attempts to go back to her old lifestyle. But something has happened to her. She has lost her appetite for the clubs and parties and fancy things that used to define her life. She's discovered how much being a "mom" means and how important those kids are to her. While they were with her, she met a Lutheran pastor (the kids' principal) who helped her see that life's not all about her, not just about fashion and fun.

Of course, the movie isn't evangelistic, but it does give a good picture of what happens to a person when they die to self. When we become Christians, we are accepting the headship of Christ over our lives so that we no longer live for ourselves. And as we grow closer to Him, in relationship to Christ, we lose our appetite for sin.

The apostle John put it this way in 1 John 3:6, "No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him." What I think John is saying is that if you don't start to lose your appetite for sin, then you probably don't have a good relationship with Christ because knowing Him will change your desires. Sure, it takes time and some people really struggle with surrender, but eventually, you look back and say "wow, those things I used to enjoy so much don't seem fun anymore." The closer you are to Christ, the more you find joy in the things that bring Him pleasure and glory. You realize that the world's idea of "fun" is really empty and meaningless...a chasing after the wind.

So, think about it. Are you losing your appetite for the things of the world? Do vapid songs, movies and tv shows leave you unsatisfied? Are you less and less inclined to invest your time in things that are temporary and more inclined to spend it on things that are eternal? If not, think about where you are with God. Listen to what Paul says to the church in Corinth, "Brothers, I could not addess you as spiritual, but as worldly, mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed you are still not ready. You are still worldly" (1 Cor. 3:1-3). Isn't that sad? Don't let that be you. Beg for new cravings. Beg to lose your appetite.

Bring It On!

It's that time again...school. My district starts pretty late compared to the school districts around us, but not as late as other parts of the country... they won't be going back for another week or two.

I'm not ready. Mentally-I'm getting there. Physically-I need to get back on track with my sleep schedule. Emotionally-kicking and screaming!! Spiritually...well, I told a teacher friend of mine at church today that I need a serious attitude check. This is a spiritual thing. God put me in the classroom for a reason. He wants me there...He wants to use me there. So, why am I so resistant to be there?

It sounds so spiritual and holy to say that I'd rather be on the mission field until I remind myself, I am on the mission field. America's public schools are as closed to the gospel as Eastern Europe before the fall of the Iron Curtain. Now, the consequences for breaking the law are very different (so far, no American teacher has had to suffer like the missionaries and martyrs who bring the gospel to Communist countries), but the enemy is definitely attempting to close the school doors to the gospel as Christian teachers are strictly warned not to "proselytize" in school or to use their position of authority as a platform for their faith.

So, what can I do as a Christian public school teacher? I can pray for my students. I can set a godly example for them. I can live my life in a way that makes them ask me what's different about me (if they ask, we're allowed to tell them). I can seek out Christian students and encourage them to share their faith because they're allowed to say things we aren't. I can sponsor a Christian club like Student Venture, FCA or Young Life, letting my students know that I am a Christian by my support of those organizations. I can be there for them.

This is bigger than me. It's bigger than any of us. This is a God-sized task, so thank God He's the One who's going to be doing the work...I just have to be willing to be used by Him.

So, tomorrow, when that bell rings and my new students come filing into my classroom, my mission begins anew. I may not want to go back to school, but I do want to glorify God with my life, so here's my chance. Bring it on!

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ... Pray that I may proclaim it clearly as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:2-6

Demoralization

Some of you girls out there may have already heard this if you've done the Beth Moore study "Believing God," but something she said in the video segment I watched online today hit me square between the eyes and I felt like I should share it with the readers and lurkers in BlogWorld. God, through Beth, gave me the 2x4 treatment today (you know, when God hits you upside the head with a 2x4 and it changes your life forever?). Here's what He said:

Demoralization is when the enemy figures out what you most fear that you are and sets about to confirm it.

When those words came out of Beth's mouth, I could feel God saying to me, "that's what you're letting happen to you. You fear you are a bad teacher, a lazy bum, an unlovable failure because you're still single...those are the lies Satan is convincing you are true, but they're not true. Here is what's true. You are mine. You are loved. You can do all things through Christ's strength in you. You have gifts and blessings that I have uniquely given you that I want to uniquely use to further my Kingdom."

How is Satan trying to demoralize you? What is it you most fear you are? Well, don't believe it.

Does that mean that there's not room for growth in those areas of my life and yours? Of course not. We all have room for growth and those things we fear most about ourselves are probably the areas where we need to grow most. But if we will give them to God and say, "I fear this about me, but I trust you with that fear and I'm yours," God will take that fear and give us the greatest victory in those very areas...and I venture to say, it will be so miraculous that you will not be able to explain it any other way than that it was the hand of God.

Don't let the enemy demoralize you. I imagine it's not any harder for you than it was for me to know immediately what I feared most I was. Give it to God. Then believe what God's Word says about you.

It's summed up in Ephesians 1:3-7.
v.3-you are BLESSED with every spiritual blessing
v.4-you are CHOSEN before the creation of the world
v.5-you are ADOPTED as His son (or daughter)
v.6-you are ACCEPTED as He freely gives us His glorious grace
v.7-you are REDEEMED through His blood
v.7-you are FORGIVEN of your sins and lavished with His grace.

Most importantly, verse 4 says that we were chosen in love. God chose you because He loves you...not because He just wants to reform you like some warden in a correctional facility. He wants to renew your mind, refresh your spirit, redeem your life, because He loves you.

You are LOVED.

Believe who God says you are, not who you fear you are.

If You're Not Sure...

Well, the big test is over. I had five hours to take a 70 question test, which of course only took and hour and a half, but I'm sure some people stayed to the bitter end. Not me! I was outta there as soon as I'd bubbled in #70 on my answer document.

Speaking of bubbling in answers, I was reading Page 1 in my test booklet, as instructed by the test administrator, which of course had all the mumbo jumbo about the test length, rules, instructions, etc. etc. The sample question was the first thing that took me by surprise. It read,

"What is the capital of Texas?"
a. Dallas
b. San Antonio
c. Austin
d. El Paso

Page 1 then proceeded to inform us of the correct answer and instuct us on how to bubble in the answer, complete with a picture in case we weren't sure. Mind you, this test is for teachers and future teachers of Gifted and Talented children. I'm sorry, but if we can't bubble answers by now, we have no business educating the future of America, much less the "gifted" future of America. The test itself was actually pretty tough, which further added to the irony of such explicit instructions.

If that weren't enough to amuse, amaze and sadden me, Page 1 then went on to explain that we should not leave any answers blank because we would "not be penalized for guessing." What? How in the world is that possible? The only way NOT to be penalized for guessing is to guess right. I guarantee you, if you guess wrong, you WILL be penalized. Duh! I think they just tell us that to keep us from leaving any answers blank, but come on people! Do we really fall for that?

Unfortunately, many people are falling for that lie daily...even Christians. We think if we're not sure about the truths of God's Word, it's ok to guess. Well guess what? It's NOT! Whole world religions, cults, false beliefs, etc. are based on the premise that it's ok to guess. If you're not sure, that's alright, God won't penalize you for guessing, as long as you're sincere about it. WRONG! If you guess wrong, you have everything to lose. That's a pretty big gamble with your eternity. Better hope you guess right.

The beauty of Christianity is that although it definitely calls for an element of faith, we have the Holy Spirit to grant us the assurance that we are not guessing. Jesus said, "if you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will KNOW the Truth and the Truth will make you free" (John 8:31-32). The same apostle who recorded those words of Jesus later writes a letter to some fellow believers encouraging them that they can KNOW that they have eternal life. He says, "And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you have eternal life" (I John 5:11-13).

We don't have to guess. We can KNOW. Now let's remember the words to the song we sang in Metro Thursday night. "All of life comes down to just one thing. That's to KNOW you, O Jesus, and to make you KNOWN." Anyone who doesn't KNOW will be penalized for guessing. Let's strive to eliminate the guesswork for them by making Him KNOWN by our words and actions.

What Happens if I Fail?

So, I was sitting in Starbucks yesterday studying for my big test on Saturday. I had just taken a break from the "Nature and Needs of Gifted and Talented Students" to catch up a little on my Bible study, "Believing God," when in walked a scantily clad woman who proceeded to the counter to order. She came and sat at the next table over, her top designed to show off her endowment/enhancement, whichever the case may be. I didn't think much of it, just contined studying the faith of Isaac and Joseph. A few moments later, Miss E/E was joined by a friend in much more modest workout attire.

They sat and talked and giggled a little. Suddenly, the thought crossed my mind, "those girls need Jesus." I shoved the thought back in my mind and continued my study which was asking me to apply the faith of our fathers to my own life there in the workbook. It took me a second to realize that the voice I had heard was not my own, but the Holy Spirit. I froze. My heart started beating faster and I sat there...I knew God wanted me to talk to them. The next thought was, "I do have some tracts in my bag." I tried to keep studying while praying, "God, if you want me to talk to them, open a door for conversation or something." What a faithless prayer! God obviously wanted me to talk to them! Why wouldn't He? These girls needed Jesus! And there I sat, with the Truth at my fingertips and even in my head...yes, I've been trained multiple times in evangelism. I know all the verses and even some extras that go with tough questions. So, why was I stuck there like a bump on a log hoarding the Truth to myself? I started praying for their souls, that God would speak to them and let them know their need for Him, but I was too scared to share it with them myself.

After about 10 minutes of agonizing over my fear of striking up a conversation with strangers, Miss E/E got up and left, accidentally bumping into a guy who had his back to her. He took the opportunity to watch her retreating form, much to the amusement of Miss Workout who was still sitting near me. I caught her eye and shared an amused smile...perfect door. But did I say anything? No, I was still praying for an "opening." Right away, Miss Workout got up and left. My heart sank. I had failed.

So, now what? I pray for forgiveness. I pray for another chance. I pray for the courage and boldness not to fail the next time. I keep praying for the souls of these two girls. I know God is bigger than my failures, but I missed out on the blessing of being used by Him...that's what happens when I fail. I could sit here and wallow in my failure and allow the enemy to convince me that I am totally unfit for Kingdom work. Instead of bemoaning my cowardice, however, I choose to remember the times I haven't shrunk back and God has used me (Heb 10:38). I go on in the strength of those victories remembering that I am not alone and that my struggle is not against flesh and blood...and I ask God to please redeem this situation by giving me an extra measure of boldness so that I will not fail again.

Will There be a Test Over This?

One of the most frustrating questions a teacher gets asked by students is "Will there be a test over this?" as if we were just telling them stuff for fun, not to actually educate them. My answer usually goes something like this, "No, I just thought y'all would be interested in conjugating irregular stem-changing verbs in the preterite, so I decided to put some up on the board for you" (I teach Spanish).

Despite my frustration with such questions, I've found myself doing the same thing to God. Have you ever noticed that when God wants to teach you something, you hear it over and over again from different sources in a short period of time? The pastor's sermon will be about that, then also the Sunday school lesson, then you'll read something on your own or a friend will call and say something similar. It's like "Ok, God, I'm listening!!"

But, then I'm always surprised when He puts what He's teaching me to the test. Lately He's been working on me in the areas of faith and contentment. No, actually, contentment isn't the right word. He wants me to have joy in the circumstances in which He's placed me and trust Him for everything. I've been learning how truly small my faith actually is. It's scary, in fact. Sunday school this week, my small group Bible study, a book I just read, several conversations with friends and this morning, an e-mail forward from Granddaddy have all been saying the same thing: "Trust Me."

Ok, God, I will trust you...but, will there be a test over this?

Outstanding Debt

I'm in charge of the sign up sheet for my sunday school class for the upcoming First Baptist Night at the Astros game. Today, I wrote the standard "Name, Phone, E-mail, Paid?" heading across the top of a piece of paper and began recruiting folks to go. When Jonathan signed up, he immediately pulled out his wallet to pay for his ticket saying "I don't like to be in debt." A great philosophy to have in life, though rare in our consumer driven nation. Upon taking his $6, I was reminded of Paul's instruction to the Romans,"let no debt remain outstanding except the continuing debt to love one another" (Rms 13:8).

What did Paul mean by that? Well, Jesus commanded His disciples to love one another as He had loved them (John 15:12) and went on to allude again to His death with the next statement that "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Love is a command, therefore I find it interesting that Paul calls it an outstanding debt. By definition, a debt is something owed to someone in exchange for something else. So, if love is a debt, does that mean we only "owe" love to those who have something to give us in exchange? I don't think so...that would be inconsistent with the rest of Scripture. We're called to love those who can't do anything for us (for example, your "neighbor" may be someone like the man in the story of the great Samaritan who is robbed, beaten and lying on the side of the road...he can't do a thing to earn your love). So, here's what I'm proposing.

The Person to whom we owe the real debt of love is Christ Himself. While we're called to "love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength," we're also called to "love our neighbors as ourselves." It's kindof a "pay it forward" idea. We can never love Jesus enough to repay Him for the Cross, so instead, we must love Him with everything we do have, then attempt to continue paying Him back, by paying that love forward to others. We're to go to our grave making deposits on our debt of love.

But all this is theoretical...stuff we know in our heads, but are less definite on how to make it play out. How do we pay this debt in practical ways? First, we need to ask God to give us opportunities to show love to others. We must pray for His heart for them to beat in us so that our attitude toward them is one of compassion and kindness, rather than frustration and impatience. We must ask for the ability to love...it's not something we can muster up on our own. Pray about it, open your eyes and your heart and then make your payments. At the same time, recognize that this debt will always be outstanding; you will never fully pay it back, but delight in the ability to pay toward it at all.

Oh, and one more thing...don't be afraid to be a recipient of someone else's deposit. It wouldn't be fair to cheat them out of the joy of making a payment!

I'm Independent!
Granddaddy got a new scooter. Many of my friends have heard all about this recent grasp for independence including how he went behind all of our backs to order the thing online, despite the fact that several family members had advised him against it. Then once it arrived, he decided that he didn't need to stay on the sidewalk (it was too bumpy), the street is much better...never mind that the scooter goes a whopping 6mph max. Anyway, we've had several talks about the scooter and where it's safe to ride, etc, etc. I did make him promise me that he would wait until I could go with him the first time he took it for a spin, which he did, only because by a stroke of Providence, the scooter arrived minus its all-important seat and in the meantime, I got back into town and "happened to be home" the day the missing part arrived.

We took it down to the church (his primary desired destination)...him driving his 6mph and me jogging alongside. On the way home, he got disoriented and lost his street, then passed his house (this didn't foster much confidence in me),but we managed. Also, I had to take him to the bicycle shop to get an obnoxious horn, a bright orange flag and reflective triangle stickers so he could be somewhat safer out there.

It occurs to me that we do the same thing as Granddaddy in our spiritual lives. We run ahead of God, making our decisions despite what we're told in Scripture and ignoring the warnings of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. We assert our "independence" by choosing to ride on the "smoother street" because the sidewalks of life are too bumpy. We lose our way home because we get so caught up in the world that we forget what home looks like and we drive right past it.

It's ironic that even with all this "independence" Granddaddy's scooter brings him, I still had to take him to the store for scooter parts and I had to show him the way home the first time he went out on it. Independence is a farce, an illusion...it's the enemy telling us that we don't need God, we can maneuver through life just fine on our own. We can put on our little horn and flag and reflective stickers and we'll be safe from all the speeding, unheeding cars out there with which we're so determined to share the road.

The most freeing thing a Christian can do is not to assert his independence, but to recognize his utter dependence. This is what Christ meant when He said "Apart from me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5b). In fact, that whole chapter of John's gospel is about our sole dependence on Christ for everything. Stop believing the lie that you can be independent and start resting on the glorious fact that dependence means you're not in charge of the outcome...you only have to be faithful in the day-to-day. Rest on what Christ has done for you on the Cross and trust in the Lord with all your heart, not in your own understanding. Celebrate dependence! It means Someone who knows much better than you is taking care of you!

Oh, and please pray for my Granddaddy not to get lost or fall off that crazy thing somewhere between home and church.

Forgotten Fruit

I read a devotional this morning on the fruits of the Spirit. It was cool because Pastor Gregg also mentioned them this Sunday in his sermon, so they were fresh on my mind, meaning God is trying to hammer something home with me. So, after reading the devotional and doing a little thinking, I headed out for a walk so I could have fresh air to go along with my thoughts. (I find that sometimes I think better outside.)

As I walked and thought, I went through each fruit of the Spirit individually, considering what it would look like to have each trait. Some of them were easier than others. I mean, we're Christians, so we're always talking about Love and Joy and Peace and the dreaded Patience, but then there's also Kindness and Goodness. We don't talk about those as much. And what about Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control?

Kindness. It seems almost old-fashioned. "She's kind." "He's such a kind man." No one talks like that anymore. I remember learning the verse as a child in Sunday school, "Be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. Just as in Christ, God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32" So, is kindness, the idea old-fashioned or just the term? What exactly does Paul mean when he says kindness is a fruit of the Spirit? How does kindness differ from love or gentleness? Certainly they're interrelated.

Goodness is also kindof a "forgotten fruit," though it's taught constantly, especially to children and teenagers, but in a disguised manner. A person whose life is abandoned to the Spirit of God will be someone who can be defined as "good." Hollywood has made goodness almost despicable or at the very least naive. The good girl is homely and the good guy is a nerd. Being good just isn't any fun, according to the world's standards. But Paul lists it at one of the signs that a person is living by the Spirit. Hmmm...interesting.

I'll have to mull a little more on the last three, so I'll save those for a future blog entry. Let me know what you think.

(Summer)Time's A'wastin' Have you heard that new Kenny Chesney song (I'm assuming it's new since I haven't listened to the radio much lately) called "Sweet Summertime"? It's all about how fun summer is for kids out of school...the freedom, hanging out with friends, etc. It's totally a feel-good song. Anyway, I woke up this morning thinking about all the things I told myself I'd do this summer and decided it was a good topic for another blog entry. As I mulled over what to say, that song came to mind. As a school teacher, summertime holds much of the same sentiment as the song...thoughts of freedom, time to relax and not worry about work. I usually go on a couple of mission trips or youth camps, hang with my family and try to visit friends, but I also make these grand resolutions to excercise and read my Bible more or memorize some of it. I have books I want to get read (or even books I'd love to write), but for some reason, summertime slips away and I don't seem to get these things done. I've travelled, hiked, boated and jet skiied, played around with friends, old and new, but here it is, the last few days of June, meaning summertime is about half over and I haven't spent more time with God, I've probably spent less. So, what does that mean? I think it indicates that when we have more time, we waste more time. I manage time better when I have less of it to work with. Is anyone else that way? How about my fellow teachers? Is any of this ringing a bell (not a school bell, thank goodness!!!)?

Guatemala
I've heard it said that describing a mission trip to folks back home is kindof like trying to give a haircut through the mail. It's so hard to explain to people what God did and what you learned and experienced when on the field. But, they always ask and of course, those who've prayed and given money for you to go deserve to know how things went. So, here goes my attempt to tell you about my trip to Guatemala.

One of the main things God did in me personally was challenge me to live more by faith and less by sight. When we were there, we worked with several schools in which teachers from the US were serving as missionaries. I was amazed at the simplicity with which they explained their various paths to Guatemala. Three of them had been drawn back there after a mission trip they had taken with their respective church groups. Nancy and Stacy had committed to at least 2 years there. Maureen was there indefinitely. Rebecca was there as a career missionary running a school with her husband and Laura had just married a local Guatemalan man and is there for however long the Lord leads. It struck me that I could do something like. Back in college, I surrendered my life to whatever "mission" God had for me. So far, that has been America's public and sometimes private schools. But, I'm getting out of debt at the end of this school year, so who knows?? I'm challenged to be willing to join God's work in this beautiful Central American country.

Another challenge came on the day we went to the park to share our faith with the people. It was a Sunday afternoon and the plaza was packed. It was raining on and off, so every once in a while, everyone would make a mad dash for cover. As we hung out with these people, several members of our group struck up conversations (through translators) and many of them led folks to faith in Christ. My partner and I shared with a few people as well, but I didn't have the success of some of the others. Partly because I didn't go in there with faith in the Lord's power to speak through me. I went in with dread and fear of "bothering people." I am challenged to be more bold and trust God more with witnessing opportunities.

One of the places I did feel the Lord use me was in a small church nestled in the heart of gang warfare. It was in one of the colonias that is known for it's roughness. I was asked to speak a few minutes to a group of young people about their friendships and sticking together as Christians where they lived. As I stood up to speak, God just gave me the words to say and even reminded me of an illustration or two from my own life. My Spanish was better than ever because God was helping me say the right words. It was amazing to see their faces and know I was connecting.

So there you have it. What God did in Guatemala, in me and through you. Thanks for praying and giving. Remember, you don't have to go to a foreign country to experience the same things or face the same challenges. Ask God where He wants to use you, then obey. The blessings will follow.

Butterflies

My grandmother who just passed away used to collect butterfly stuff. She loved butterflies and her house is full of butterfly paraphenalia-crystal figurines, coffee mugs, pillows, pictures, etc, etc, etc. One time as a little girl, I picked up tiny clam shells at the beach and glued them to a block of unfinished wood in the shape of butterflies. That block has hung in the breakfast room for over 25 years. I like to think of myself a little like a butterfly. What is the big deal with butterflies?

Well, they are pretty, but that's not what I was thinking as far as myself. I was thinking more along the lines of what they do. Butterflies, unlike birds who build nests, tend to be a bit "flighty," never staying in one place very long. It's a good thing they don't because as they fly from flower to flower and plant to plant, they pick up and deposit seeds and pollen, allowing the flowers and plants to reproduce. Some people are like butterflies as we pick up knowledge and experience from one place and deposit it in another.

I am a school teacher, but I have never stayed in one school for more than 2 years. I like to move around. I grow that way and I get to impact more people that way. I am "flighty," but I like to think of it as being a good thing. Some teachers pour knowledge into their students like a mother bird feeding her babies. I like to plant the seeds of knowledge and let them grow, inticing them to learn more on their own. But don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the birds; the world needs both birds and butterflies. Right?

*The picture at the top was painted by my Great Aunt Norma for my Me-Maw. It hangs in my bedroom.

Sponges

I was chided recently for saying a friend of mine was a sponge. I meant it in the nicest way, of course, but I guess the others who heard the comment didn't understand what I meant. Some of us (perhaps not myself as much as I'd like), have a gift for soaking in the truths of God's Word being more apt to listen than to speak. I was truly complimenting my friend on her ability to do just that. I think we can all take a lesson from the sponge.

A sponge (not the sea creature, but the kitchen tool) is used to clean things, but it's defining characteristic is its ability to absorb liquid. If we think of ourselves as sponges, we will see that we all absorb whatever we expose ourselves to. As does my friend, God's Word should be the chief "liquid" we fill ourselves with. That way when squeezed, whether by the pressures of life and the world, or by allowing ourselves to be used in service, what will come out, but God's wisdom?

There are two dangers with being a sponge. The first, I've already hinted at. We have to be careful what we absorb. Now, I have to confess that I love country music, especially country love songs, but I refrain from absorbing too much of them because I've found that my thoughts turn inward as a single gal wanting to find that special someone like the songs describe. My ability to wait for God's best, my ability to sense and pray for or meet the needs of others, and most of all, my desire to serve and love Him above all else are all directly affected by how much I take in of this particular "liquid." Sappy chick flicks and even Christian romance novels can have some of the same effects, so I limit my diet of those as well. What I'm saying is, we have to be careful how much of these seemingly harmless things we take in. However purely they may present the love of a man and a woman and give us an example to follow in the future, we must be careful to not live in that future by soaking too much in the thoughts they inevitably bring to mind. Of course, I don't even need to mention those things that are obviously harmful to put in our minds, but for the sake of those who aren't tempted by the same "liquids" as I, there are plenty of things out there that we should avoid for the sake of keeping the sponges of our minds pure.

Secondly, the danger in being a sponge is never allowing yourself to be squeezed. A sponge that sits in a shallow dish of water for a long period of time will begin to mold and smell bad. There's a limit to how much a sponge can absorb before needing to release. That point is called saturation. The American church is full of saturated people, sitting in the dish of Bible teaching, but never putting themselves in God's hands to get squeezed. Sure, the pressures of life squeeze us some and we hope that the Word is saturating us at the time so that we will respond with wisdom, but I'm talking about being squeezed in service. There is so much work to be done, but so many of us are stinky saturated sponges unfit to be used because we have never been squeezed. I pray we will learn to give more thus making room for us to absorb more.

Be a sponge. Be careful what you fill yourself with. Take a good inventory of the things that fill your mind. Are they things you would want coming out of you when you get squeezed? Determine to fill yourself with God's wisdom through reading, studying and listening to God's Word. Then, ask God where He wants to squeeze you...do you need to volunteer to work with the youth or keep the nursery at church? Do you need to go on a mission trip or teach a Bible study? Maybe you should be mentoring a younger believer or working in an inner city mission church like the ones we will pair up with for Houston Project. Maybe you need to participate in an evangelistic training and outreach or visit the nursing home and bring some joy to the lonely. Maybe all of the above. It's a continuous cycle...being filled and squeezed. May you find the joy of being a sponge, filled and squeezed by God Himself.

Monet

There's a line from the movie "Clueless" that has always stuck with me, but I never applied it to myself until today. It's at the part where the main character (Cher) has invited her protege (Ty) to a party and they are watching the snobby boy (Elton) who has rejected Ty dancing with a snobby girl (Amber) from school. Ty asks Cher, "Do you think Amber is pretty?" Cher's response is, "Naw, she's a full-on Monet." At Ty's confused look, Cher explains, "From far away, it's just fine, but up close, it's a big ole mess." For a supposedly ditzy blonde, that's a pretty deep analogy.

Here's where I am going with this. I think I may be a little like that...I think we may all be, but what we don't realize is that it's only at the middle range, when the viewer is a few feet away that they see the "big ole mess." I tend to keep people at a distance. I put up my velvet-covered musem barriers and say "you can only come this close." So, from far away, I look just fine, but then as people get close to me and see the big ole mess, they start to wonder what they were thinking wanting to get closer.

What I have failed to realize and by extension have failed to let people see, is that when you get past the velvet barrier and get really close, practically nose to the canvas, you see the mastery of the Monet. How in the world can someone take tiny splotches of color that seemingly have no distinction and make a bigger picture that is simply beautiful? Those splotches of color are beautiful in themselves. They are the individual experiences and elements of a person's life. They are the details that few people ever get close enough to see and each little splotch is worthy of individual celebration. But it takes getting past the barriers to see those for what they are. There are few people in our lives who can see both the big picture and the beautiful little splotches. Most we hold at arm's length where we're a "big ole mess." Sometimes people's ability to only see the "big ole mess" isn't our fault. Sometimes people stop at that point on their own accord and decide not to come any closer. That's when we feel rejection. That hurts.

Our Master is painting each of us as a beautiful person, perfectly placing splotch after splotch on our canvas until He has a beautiful picture that can not be explained, only appreciated. But, each of us is still a work in progress. We must do our part to take down the velvet barriers and let people past the "big ole mess" stage. But, we must also realize that if they don't want to come any closer, they will miss out on the beauty of the splotches, but then again, that is their own loss. Revel in the beauty God is making out of your life. Don't let the rejection of those who can't get past the velvet barriers keep you from recognizing the hand of the Master who is still at work on you. And if someone wants to get closer, let them. You never know, God could be using them as another splotch to complete your bigger picture. And you theirs.

Blogging at Bedtime Part III

I just read the FCA devotional that comes to my inbox on a daily basis and today it happened to be about three things that allow us to stay at our best; they are Sleep, Eating (healthy) and Exercise. I see the writer's point...all three of these activities are important for keeping us in shape, mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Ironically, I am deficient in all of them! I know I don't get enough sleep and while I try to eat fairly healthy, I still have some poor eating habits. And as far as exercise, well...um...I mean I want to make time for it, but I guess I don't want to enough or I would. We all make time for those things that are true priorities. So, now I'm convicted. I know I need to make improvements in these three areas, so I'm calling all my friends, bloggers and lurkers alike, to help keep me accountable. I may fuss at you if you ask me about them, but don't take it personally! In three weeks summer vacation begins and I know I will be able to sleep a lot better than I do now, but I also know that I tend to not eat as healthy in the summer because I get bored sitting at home and then I raid the kitchen...not good! I will have more time to devote to excercise, but the question is, will I do it? We shall see. I'm going to pray that I will begin to build a better balance in my life in these three areas.

Ok, so now I better go so I can get some sleep and get up in time to make a nice healthy lunch and actually eat some breakfast and then possibly do a little excercise!

Priceless

There's a billboard on Hwy 6 for a car dealership that reads, "A great deal is a deal you feel great about." The owner is declaring that the value of his vehicles is the price people feel good paying for them. Of course, we all love to find great deals. I was excited to find my car on the Saturn website because it had all the features I wanted and more that I hadn't even thought of, and because it was previously owned and had about 45,000 miles on it, I got it for half the price of a new car with the same features. It had obviously been very well cared for and was in great shape! I felt it was a great deal! Now, the value of the car was more than just what I payed for it...it represented reliable transportation and was meeting a need.

Think of the Master Card commercials which list the price for various things until they get to something that doesn't have a specific price...this thing they declare as "priceless."

As people, we struggle with determining our own value. We look for a sense of worth from a variety of sources such as the acceptance, approval and affections of other people, our ability to perform a task, our intellectual skills or how much money we have in the bank. The problem with basing our worth on these things is that they are all subjective (based on other people's whims) or at least subject to change. People are fickle, fragile and fallible. Circumstances can change and our supposed value could go flying out the window. We can't depend on our appearance, our finances, our abilities or our accomplishments to determine our worth. So, where does our value come from?

Value is defined as:

1) An amount, as of goods, services, or money, considered to be a fair and suitable equivalent for something else; a fair price or return.

-The Bible says, "...you are not your own, you were bought at a price..." (I Cor. 6:19b-20a). What is that price? Jesus' own blood. We are worth so much to God that He actually became a man and died in our place to buy us back from the Enemy! A fair price? According to our Creator...we are worth it!

2) Worth in usefulness or importance to the possessor; utility or merit [as in] the value of an education.

-Again, the Bible tells us that we are precious in His sight. This value is one of usefulness and importance to the God who made us, loves us and provides for us. We are a source of great joy to Him.

So, we never need to worry if we are valuable. We never need to question our worth. When you start to think you aren't good enough or smart enough or not enough people like you...remember you are supremely valuable. You are worth dying for. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

You are priceless.

Peter Knows Best

I woke up this Easter morning thinking about Easter Sunday sermons. See, my grandmother (Me-Maw, as we all call her) is in hospice care with not much time remaining on this Earth and I was wishing she could attend church with us or at least have a service for today, most likely her last Easter. I got to thinking about what I would want preached in that sermon, and immediately I thought about the Apostle Peter.

It seems to me that no one on this earth knew Jesus as well as Peter did. Peter is one of the first disciples Jesus called. Jesus spent time at Peter's house when in Galilee (Matthew 8:14 and 17:25). He was the one who spoke up all the time with poignant statements and bold confessions. He was known for his passion. Here are just a few examples:

1) When Jesus walked on the water, Peter was the only one who had the faith to step out of the boat with Him.
2) Peter's the one who confessed that Jesus was the Christ.
3) Peter got to see Jesus transfigured and heard audibly the voice of God telling who Jesus was and to listen to Him. Peter speaks up and says they should build tabernacles for Jesus, Moses and Elijah who had also appeared.
4) Peter says the disciples had forsaken everything to follow Jesus.
5) When Jesus asked the disciples if they wanted to leave because His teachings were strange, Peter pipes up and says, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."
6) At the Last Supper, Peter at first doesn't let Jesus wash his feet, then when Jesus explains, he wants Him to wash his head and hands as well.
7) Peter declared he will follow Christ anywhere, even to death.
8) Peter cuts off the soldier's ear when they come to arrest Jesus.
9) Just as emphatically, he denies any knowledge of Jesus as soon as things get scary at Jesus' trial.
10) Peter declares his love for the resurrected Jesus when the Lord appears to them on the beach.

Ok, that's not all, but that's enough for now. I went to the trouble to list all of the above to give you some perspective on the author of the following passage:

1 Peter 1:3-8
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

You see, Peter KNEW Jesus. He had experienced that mercy and KNEW it to be great. He had witnessed the death and resurrection of Christ and was fully aware of where His Lord was at that moment. He KNEW that Heaven awaited him. Because of this assurance, he could write these words of reassurance to the believers. He himself had gone through the trials and KNEW that they were the means to increased and refined faith, the faith that allows God's power to shield you from the Enemy and preserve you for Heaven. He didn't just wish or dream, he KNEW! And because he KNEW, he had hope. Not uncertain wondering, but real, living hope, the kind of hope that looks forward to a better future despite the pain of the present. Because he KNEW the Lord personally and KNEW the love that sent Him to the cross, he could assure them that even though they couldn't see Him they could love Him. Finally, this Peter who KNEW Jesus, KNEW that the refined faith, the living hope and the blind love were the source of "an inexpressible and glorious joy."

No matter what you're going through. No matter how imminent your death. No matter how bad things may seem. This life is not all there is. Peter wanted us to know this. And Peter knew best.

Waiting
On
WOW

WOW is an expression of amazement, wonder and surprise. Like many words in the English language, it gets overused and loses meaning, but I want to redeem it a little. WOW is that moment when you realize something that has previously escaped your notice or that catches you so off guard that you are stopped in your tracks and have no other word to use but WOW!

Isaiah had a WOW moment in Isaiah 6. He actually saw God and lived to tell about it. Isaac had one when he saw Rebekah for the first time. Peter, James and John had many as they walked with Jesus. These guys were actually WALKING with GOD around their own country, their hometown and watching Him heal the sick, calm storms, walk on water, be transfigured, raise the dead, feed 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish. WOW!

I think we fail to realize that that is the same God we know and worship. If we have recognized our sin and turned over our lives to Him, WOW has come to us. Why do we so often settle for less? A great missionary, William Carey once said, "Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God." His life was amazing and he saw God do amazing things in and through him. But we don't have to go to India to see God do great things, nor to be used of God to do great things.

I want to challenge us to wait for WOW. We must pray for it, expect it and go for it with God. Never settle for less than WOW in your life.

Perhaps you're in a dead end job and just getting out of bed to go to work everyday is a chore. Perhaps you're single and you doubt what they say about there being "someone out there" for you. Perhaps you're stuck in some rut and there seems to be no light at the end of your long, dark tunnel. Whatever your situation, God wants to WOW you with His power through it. This will require faith on your part. WOW can't be forced, manipulated or mustered up. God is the owner and purveyor of WOW. If God doesn't do it, it's not WOW.

Pray for God to work out your situation and then wait and watch for His answer. Don't settle for mediocre when you can have WOW. Don't even settle for good when you can have WOW. Wait on God. Wait On WOW.

Disappointment

Life throws us curves all the time. People get sick or even die. Relationships fail. Friends betray you or let you down. Injuries happen. Stuff breaks. Your team loses the big game. Jobs, promotions and raises go to other people. Conflicts arise and tough decisions have to be made.

Disappointment happens because we live in a fallen world where sin is rampant and every one of us has been the guilty party as well as the innocent victim. When stuff happens that hurts or that disappoints us, we have a choice of how to react. You see, disappointment is not sin. Being hurt is not sin. Sin connected to disappointment happens when you try to resolve the problem yourself. You may do this with anger, lashing out at the one who hurt you or worse, someone innocent who wasn't even involved. Or you may retreat within yourself, get depressed and refuse to allow healing to begin. You may whine and complain and throw a royal pity party. You may beat yourself up thinking the disappointment was somehow your fault and you could have done something to stop it from happening. Or, you may choose to give it to God and let Him take the pain upon Himself and heal you.

This final option, which of course is the right one, is very difficult. It requires letting go and surrendering your will and your desires to Someone else. The beautiful thing about surrender is that it opens the door for blessing. God hates pain. He hates sin. He loves us and like a parent that never wants to see his child scrape a knee or get made fun of at school, He is very protective of us. But life still happens and He allows it because so often the pain will bring us right into His arms. He wants to be the Comforter and the Healer. God could stop sin and one day He will, but in His love for us, He gave us the ability to choose to love or reject Him, to obey or disobey Him. He wants us to choose Him and disappointment is the result of people not choosing to love and obey God.

So, right now, if things are painful in your life. If you've been hurt or a disappointment has come your way, give it to the Father who loves you and who wants to make it all better. It may take time, but pray about it and thank Him for all the blessings you can think of, then the peace of God will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. Jesus said "My Peace I leave with you; peace I give to you. I do not give it to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). Again, he says "I have told you these things so that in me, you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33)." We can trust that Jesus' death and resurrection will set everything right. We can trust that even though people will let us down in this life, God will never let us down. We can trust that even if our future looks bleak and our present is painful, there is a God who wants to hold us and who has something in store for us that is greater than we can imagine. The blessing in disguise that comes with disappointment is that when things finally do get right and you come out on the other side of it, you are stronger and you appreciate the joys in life that much more because you have felt the pains and known the heartaches.

Give it to God. Pray for peace. Wait for healing. It will come.