React or Respond?

Have you ever accidentally stepped on a dog's tail? You get one of two reactions: 1) a yelp of pain (usually followed by a whimper as the pain subsides), or 2) a snap of anger (also a reaction to pain). When a dog yelps, it's not because he is mad; it's because he is hurt. When he snaps, it's not because he is mean; it's because he is hurt.

We as humans are more in control of our reactions at times than animals, but in a way, we are just like them. When someone steps on our pride or our feelings, we often react with a raw emotion such as anger or hurt, which causes us to either yelp in pain and retreat to lick our wounds or lash out in anger and seek to inflict similar pain in retaliation.

As we've been learning in Sunday school lately, there are actually three wrong responses to conflict: 1) attack-speak out in justification/lash out in retaliation; 2) retreat-run away from the person/situation (avoidance); or 3) surrender-cower to that person/situation and let it control you or have its way. None of these really solves the problem, in fact, they usually complicate and prolong it.

But, then there is a higher way. It is the way Christ exemplified for us while on this earth. He encountered conflict all the time and He always knew how to handle the situation. Sometimes He did speak out in righteous anger. Other times, He compassionately opened the eyes of the attacker to allow them to see the reason behind their attack. And still other times, He simply walked away from the situation knowing "His time had not yet come."

The problem is training yourself to take that higher road. And even more challenging is learning to discern which response is most appropriate in each circumstance. How can we do this? I think the answer lies in staying closely connected to Christ. The more we study His Word and examine what Christ did, analyzing His words and actions for the sake of emulating them, the better chance we have of correctly identifying the situation and responding to it as He would do or as He would have us do. One of the keys is learning not to react immediately, but to check your pride and take a step back to give yourself time to correctly respond.

We're all human and God's not finished with us yet. We have times when we are hurt and our flesh takes over and we react. Maturity is when those times become less and less frequent and more often than not, you do begin to take the higher road.

React or Respond? (Part II)

This was on My Yahoo! homepage today:
Word of the Day
Information provided by Petersons.com
adversity
DEFINITION: (noun) a state or condition that is contrary to one of well-being.

EXAMPLE: It's easy to be patient and generous when things are going well; a person's true character is revealed under adversity.

I thought it fitting and slightly ironic, though certainly not coincidental, that I saw this word after I posted the above.

Oh, one more addendum:
Another source of reaction rather than response is fear. Fear of how that person views you. Fear that they might be right. Fear of being hurt again. Fear of not being able to control them or the situation. Yeah, fear's not so good, but according to the Scripture, there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. So, if we recognize we are wholly and dearly loved by Christ and if we recognize that our attacker is as well, then we are more able to respond rather than react.

Ok, that's all I have to say about that.