Grateful and Better
(or perhaps more aptly titled, "No Longer Jealous and Bitter")
This is for all the people who read my previous post and are worried about me. :) I did that praying that I was talking about and also did some more thinking, spent some time with good Christian friends, listened to some Chris Tomlin and Third Day (two of my favorite artists), went to church and studied some Scripture.
Life is good. Like one of my friends said in a recent e-mail, I'm doing pretty well if my main problem in life is being single. I still haven't written that best-seller and I am still dateless, but God is good. Not just good, He's sufficient. Every day there is something new to thank God for. Whether it's simply the fact that you woke up this morning or something huge like finding out your book is being published or starting a new relationship; God is there. His presence is more desireable than any blessing He can give.
Like being with your friends...you don't want to be with them for the things they give you. You simply enjoy their company. That's how God's presence is. God is not a Cosmic vending machine. He is a friend of sinners. How amazing is that? If you got to visit the White House or eat lunch with a celebrity, you'd talk about it for months. But think about this-you get to hang out with the One who designed every tree and animal and the human body and the veins on the back of a leaf and the sunset over the Pacific. That's your God. And not only that, He's your friend.
So, if you were worried about me being jealous and bitter, know that I was just having a "moment." We all have those. It's what we do with them in life that determines who we are.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Jealous AND Bitter?
A girl from my old Sunday School class at Second Baptist just published a book. When I got the e-mail telling me about this new book, my instant response was jealousy. I've always wanted to write a book and have it published. And to top it off, her book is on the same topic as a book I've started, but never finished. I took note of my initial reaction, then decided to move past it and go ahead and read the first chapter which can be accessed online.
As I read, God used this girl to speak directly to my heart. It occurred to me that I'm starting to get bitter because life hasn't met my expectations. I feel like God has forgotten me because I'm still single. Sure, I can quote the Scriptures about God knowing the plans He has for me and not being anxious about anything, but praying about everything. I can spout all the pithy mantras about God's timing and using my singleness to its utmost potential. I can remind myself of all the blessings I do have and all the things I've gotten to do in my life so far.
I can counsel others on trusting God, but there are just those times when I get tired of waiting and feel left behind, like that time Mom thought Dad was picking me up from school and Dad thought Mom had me. I sat outside the gym until it started to get dark and finally a kind policeman stopped and took me home only to discover neither of them was there. I ended up at the police station waiting for them to get home and answer the phone to learn where I was. Aren't you glad we have cell phones now?
Well, anyway, I've got some praying to do. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to be jealous of my girl friends' success or happiness. I want to be able to say with Paul that "to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phil 2:20). I want to be so much more anxious to get to heaven than to get down the aisle. I want to want Jesus more than a husband...not that I can get rid of the desire to be married. I believe that is God-given, but I want to give that desire its rightful place in my total mindset.
By the way, I do want to reccommend my friend's book. I think it could help others besides me.
A girl from my old Sunday School class at Second Baptist just published a book. When I got the e-mail telling me about this new book, my instant response was jealousy. I've always wanted to write a book and have it published. And to top it off, her book is on the same topic as a book I've started, but never finished. I took note of my initial reaction, then decided to move past it and go ahead and read the first chapter which can be accessed online.
As I read, God used this girl to speak directly to my heart. It occurred to me that I'm starting to get bitter because life hasn't met my expectations. I feel like God has forgotten me because I'm still single. Sure, I can quote the Scriptures about God knowing the plans He has for me and not being anxious about anything, but praying about everything. I can spout all the pithy mantras about God's timing and using my singleness to its utmost potential. I can remind myself of all the blessings I do have and all the things I've gotten to do in my life so far.
I can counsel others on trusting God, but there are just those times when I get tired of waiting and feel left behind, like that time Mom thought Dad was picking me up from school and Dad thought Mom had me. I sat outside the gym until it started to get dark and finally a kind policeman stopped and took me home only to discover neither of them was there. I ended up at the police station waiting for them to get home and answer the phone to learn where I was. Aren't you glad we have cell phones now?
Well, anyway, I've got some praying to do. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to be jealous of my girl friends' success or happiness. I want to be able to say with Paul that "to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Phil 2:20). I want to be so much more anxious to get to heaven than to get down the aisle. I want to want Jesus more than a husband...not that I can get rid of the desire to be married. I believe that is God-given, but I want to give that desire its rightful place in my total mindset.
By the way, I do want to reccommend my friend's book. I think it could help others besides me.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Heresy, Blasphemy and Episode III
I was at a friend's house tonight watching Star Wars, Episode III and we were commenting on how New Age Yoda's instructions to Anakin Skywalker were. He told him that he needed to let go of all attachments and get rid of all feelings-love and hate, fear and anger in order to be a good Jedi Knight. Of course, if you've seen the movie, you know that Anakin doesn't follow Yoda's advice and ends up becoming Darth Vader after making some really dreadful decisions, thus seemingly proving Yoda right.
I was telling the others present that I don't like this Episode for that very reason. It's painful to watch someone with a dilemma like Skywalker's choose wrong, even if he thinks he's doing it for the right reasons.
Now, I know some of my friends out there in blog world may be shocked at my criticism of their beloved Star Wars, and may be even now accusing me of heresy, but that's ok. I do realize that everything works out in the end and Skywalker eventually does what is necessary to "bring balance to the Force," it's just sad that there are so many casualties along the way. Yeah, that's what's sad. But what's scary is the fact that so many people watch these movies and are unable to separate the drama and action from the philosophy and heresy woven throughout the six episodes.
Whether conciously or not, we can be affected by Yoda's advice to close ourselves off from attachments that could lead to painful experiences. We put up walls to protect ourselves from situations where we might get hurt or become angry. After all, look where it got Anakin. But, that's the gospel according to Yoda. Jesus says just the opposite, and the apostles John and Paul reiterate that we are to love one another; hate what is evil, cling to what is good; be angry, but do not sin; fear the Lord.
Can you imagine living in a world where we were told not to have emotions? That would make us more like droids than humans. Part of being created in the image of God is our ability to feel, to love, to express emotion. There is no Force to be balanced out with Nirvana-like removal of attachments. The world needs all the love we can give and God's power that is shown through His people fulfilling the purpose of the Church, is more amazing than any Jedi mind trick or use of the Force.
Letting down your walls and letting God love people through you almost certainly will expose you to painful situations, but consider the alternative-a life that is powerless and devoid of joy. Which would you choose?
I was at a friend's house tonight watching Star Wars, Episode III and we were commenting on how New Age Yoda's instructions to Anakin Skywalker were. He told him that he needed to let go of all attachments and get rid of all feelings-love and hate, fear and anger in order to be a good Jedi Knight. Of course, if you've seen the movie, you know that Anakin doesn't follow Yoda's advice and ends up becoming Darth Vader after making some really dreadful decisions, thus seemingly proving Yoda right.
I was telling the others present that I don't like this Episode for that very reason. It's painful to watch someone with a dilemma like Skywalker's choose wrong, even if he thinks he's doing it for the right reasons.
Now, I know some of my friends out there in blog world may be shocked at my criticism of their beloved Star Wars, and may be even now accusing me of heresy, but that's ok. I do realize that everything works out in the end and Skywalker eventually does what is necessary to "bring balance to the Force," it's just sad that there are so many casualties along the way. Yeah, that's what's sad. But what's scary is the fact that so many people watch these movies and are unable to separate the drama and action from the philosophy and heresy woven throughout the six episodes.
Whether conciously or not, we can be affected by Yoda's advice to close ourselves off from attachments that could lead to painful experiences. We put up walls to protect ourselves from situations where we might get hurt or become angry. After all, look where it got Anakin. But, that's the gospel according to Yoda. Jesus says just the opposite, and the apostles John and Paul reiterate that we are to love one another; hate what is evil, cling to what is good; be angry, but do not sin; fear the Lord.
Can you imagine living in a world where we were told not to have emotions? That would make us more like droids than humans. Part of being created in the image of God is our ability to feel, to love, to express emotion. There is no Force to be balanced out with Nirvana-like removal of attachments. The world needs all the love we can give and God's power that is shown through His people fulfilling the purpose of the Church, is more amazing than any Jedi mind trick or use of the Force.
Letting down your walls and letting God love people through you almost certainly will expose you to painful situations, but consider the alternative-a life that is powerless and devoid of joy. Which would you choose?
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Oops!
When I signed on to Yahoo! today, there was an article on the homepage about a casino owner in Vegas who accidentally poked a hole in an original Picasso painting he had just sold for $139 million! Of course, he did the right thing by releasing the buyer of his obligation to pay up on the damaged goods, but the story reminded me of how temporary this Earth and all its valuables really are.
For one thing, it amazes me that anyone would pay millions of dollars for a piece of cloth with paint on it. Who gets to say which paintings are more valuable than others? And now that the painting is no longer in perfect condition, how much is it worth? The guy's going to keep the painting and have it repaired, but would he ever be able to sell it now?
Aren't you glad that God doesn't treat us like that painting? We have supreme value because Jesus paid for us with His life, but what if God had decided we weren't worth anything anymore because we were "damaged goods" after the fall? When this life is over and all the Picasso's are burned up (along with all the other expensive stuff we spend too much money on), what will remain? We will. Man's soul will outlast all the art, all the technology, all the stuff. That should make us realize the value of people over everything else and it should challenge us to treat people as the supremely valuable creation that they are. Each individual life is worth infinite Picasso paintings.
That's why Jesus said "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).
That treasure He's talking about is the souls that will be in heaven because you told them the truth about Christ. There's nothing else we can put in storage there. How awesome will it be to get to heaven and be greeted by our "treasure" in the form of people we made an eternal impact upon.
So, poor guy who ruined his Picasso painting. Let's pray he got a glimpse of the temporal nature of earthly things.
When I signed on to Yahoo! today, there was an article on the homepage about a casino owner in Vegas who accidentally poked a hole in an original Picasso painting he had just sold for $139 million! Of course, he did the right thing by releasing the buyer of his obligation to pay up on the damaged goods, but the story reminded me of how temporary this Earth and all its valuables really are.
For one thing, it amazes me that anyone would pay millions of dollars for a piece of cloth with paint on it. Who gets to say which paintings are more valuable than others? And now that the painting is no longer in perfect condition, how much is it worth? The guy's going to keep the painting and have it repaired, but would he ever be able to sell it now?
Aren't you glad that God doesn't treat us like that painting? We have supreme value because Jesus paid for us with His life, but what if God had decided we weren't worth anything anymore because we were "damaged goods" after the fall? When this life is over and all the Picasso's are burned up (along with all the other expensive stuff we spend too much money on), what will remain? We will. Man's soul will outlast all the art, all the technology, all the stuff. That should make us realize the value of people over everything else and it should challenge us to treat people as the supremely valuable creation that they are. Each individual life is worth infinite Picasso paintings.
That's why Jesus said "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).
That treasure He's talking about is the souls that will be in heaven because you told them the truth about Christ. There's nothing else we can put in storage there. How awesome will it be to get to heaven and be greeted by our "treasure" in the form of people we made an eternal impact upon.
So, poor guy who ruined his Picasso painting. Let's pray he got a glimpse of the temporal nature of earthly things.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Forward Progress
It's football season. One of the only redeeming aspects of the NFL is getting to see your favorite college players take that step "up" and try to make it in the big arena. I put "up" in quotes because if you're like me, you prefer watching college ball over pro any day. So, it's time to don your favorite team's shirt and spend your Saturdays flipping between games revelling in the school spirit, the upsets and the victories, the huge plays and the "Hi Mom" signs that make up college football.
Now, even if you're not a fan, and you don't know much about the game, most people know that the goal is to get the football across the goal line to score a touchdown. Of course, there are other ways to score involving kicking, tackling in the opponents' end zone, etc., but the most common (and most effective pointwise) way to score is the touchdown. To get there, your team must make forward progress. Either by passing or running with it, the ball must get across that line.
The same goes with life. The goal is to win and the way to win is to score against the Enemy. To score against the Enemy, we must make forward progress.
Ways to score against the Enemy:
1) Surrender your life to Christ (salvation).
--John 10:10 says, "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly."
2) Surrender your life to be used by God
--I Corinthians 15:57-58 says, "But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, for you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
--Romans 12:1-2 says, "I urge you therefore, to offer up your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will know what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will."
3) Through God's grace, conquer personal sin
--Ephesians 4:17-24 (Contemporary English Version) says,
17 As a follower of the Lord, I order you to stop living like stupid, godless people. 18 Their minds are in the dark, and they are stubborn and ignorant and have missed out on the life that comes from God. They no longer have any feelings about what is right, 19 and they are so greedy that they do all kinds of indecent things.
20-21 But that isn’t what you were taught about Jesus Christ. He is the truth, and you heard about him and learned about him. 22 You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. 23 Let the Spirit change your way of thinking 24 and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy.
There are many other ways to make forward progress in the Christian life, but these are a few of the big ones...the touchdowns, if you will.
One thing my pastor said on Sunday really hit home with me. He opened his sermon by saying that 3 steps forward and 2 steps back is still 1 step forward. Life is all about forward strides and setbacks. The problem is that so many of us focus on the 2 steps back and let them paralyze us rather than taking stock and realizing that hey, we just made forward progress. It may not have been much, but at least it was in the right direction.
In football, the defense is supposed to tackle the guy with the ball to keep him from going any farther forward. Sometimes they don't knock him down, but the ball is considered down because the defense has "stopped forward progress" by getting in the way of the player with the ball or pushing him backward. Don't let the Enemy stop your forward progress. He will point to your 2 steps back and discourage you saying, "you'll never get this Christian walk thing right. You might as well quit trying." When he does that, point to that step forward and remind him (and yourself) that you are already on the winning team.
It's football season. One of the only redeeming aspects of the NFL is getting to see your favorite college players take that step "up" and try to make it in the big arena. I put "up" in quotes because if you're like me, you prefer watching college ball over pro any day. So, it's time to don your favorite team's shirt and spend your Saturdays flipping between games revelling in the school spirit, the upsets and the victories, the huge plays and the "Hi Mom" signs that make up college football.
Now, even if you're not a fan, and you don't know much about the game, most people know that the goal is to get the football across the goal line to score a touchdown. Of course, there are other ways to score involving kicking, tackling in the opponents' end zone, etc., but the most common (and most effective pointwise) way to score is the touchdown. To get there, your team must make forward progress. Either by passing or running with it, the ball must get across that line.
The same goes with life. The goal is to win and the way to win is to score against the Enemy. To score against the Enemy, we must make forward progress.
Ways to score against the Enemy:
1) Surrender your life to Christ (salvation).
--John 10:10 says, "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly."
2) Surrender your life to be used by God
--I Corinthians 15:57-58 says, "But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, for you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
--Romans 12:1-2 says, "I urge you therefore, to offer up your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will know what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will."
3) Through God's grace, conquer personal sin
--Ephesians 4:17-24 (Contemporary English Version) says,
17 As a follower of the Lord, I order you to stop living like stupid, godless people. 18 Their minds are in the dark, and they are stubborn and ignorant and have missed out on the life that comes from God. They no longer have any feelings about what is right, 19 and they are so greedy that they do all kinds of indecent things.
20-21 But that isn’t what you were taught about Jesus Christ. He is the truth, and you heard about him and learned about him. 22 You were told that your foolish desires will destroy you and that you must give up your old way of life with all its bad habits. 23 Let the Spirit change your way of thinking 24 and make you into a new person. You were created to be like God, and so you must please him and be truly holy.
There are many other ways to make forward progress in the Christian life, but these are a few of the big ones...the touchdowns, if you will.
One thing my pastor said on Sunday really hit home with me. He opened his sermon by saying that 3 steps forward and 2 steps back is still 1 step forward. Life is all about forward strides and setbacks. The problem is that so many of us focus on the 2 steps back and let them paralyze us rather than taking stock and realizing that hey, we just made forward progress. It may not have been much, but at least it was in the right direction.
In football, the defense is supposed to tackle the guy with the ball to keep him from going any farther forward. Sometimes they don't knock him down, but the ball is considered down because the defense has "stopped forward progress" by getting in the way of the player with the ball or pushing him backward. Don't let the Enemy stop your forward progress. He will point to your 2 steps back and discourage you saying, "you'll never get this Christian walk thing right. You might as well quit trying." When he does that, point to that step forward and remind him (and yourself) that you are already on the winning team.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Lonely in a Crowd
Starbucks is a great place to get some work done. Yesterday, I sat in my room all day and "worked" on papers that needed to be graded and recorded. I took frequent breaks to check my e-mail, surf the web or play a game on the computer. Not only that, but there was football on tv. I mean, I HAD to watch football, right? Needless to say, I didn't get much done. That meant that today was the day to finish up. So, after lunch, I grabbed my school bag and headed to the Starbucks. I mean, I was serious. With the help of a Grande Carmel Macciatto, those papers got graded in about two hours. Did I mention that I'd spent all day on them yesterday? Anyway, to the point of my story...
I finished up around 8:00pm, so I decided to go check out CityFest and see if things were still going on there. I found a great parking spot since a lot of folks with kids were leaving. As I wandered up to the main stage I started to feel really lonely. I was supposed to go with some girls from church, but that fell through. I made it to the stage right as Luis Palau was finishing his message. I realized if I'd come earlier, I could have helped out with decision counseling or something, but I hadn't been on the ball enough to sign up and show up.
So here I was, wandering through the crowd looking for familiar faces. I saw a few, but they were with significant others, so I kept walking. Chris Tomlin was about to go on, so I stuck around. As he started leading the crowd in worship, that lonely feeling intensified. Here were all these people with their friends and families around them worshipping God and I was all alone. I watched the people raising their hands, eyes closed, lost in the moment of worship and I thought this is what Heaven will be like, only without the loneliness and I can't wait for that day when I won't ever feel alone in a crowd again.
Then it hit me the words I was singing. "Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough for me." I was singing because I knew the words, but I wasn't really singing to God. I wasn't taking to heart the fact that even though I was there alone, I wasn't really alone and not only that, but the God who was there with me, in me, was enough for me. I won't tell you that I instantly felt good about being there alone. After all, God did design us for relationships, but I knew I would be ok and that even though I was experiencing a moment of loneliness, I was there for a reason. I needed to learn to lean on God's grace and find it enough for me in that moment. I stayed to the end and even bought a CD, then left still feeling alone, but knowing that no matter how lonely I feel, there will always be enough grace for me. I'm challenged as I struggle with my singleness and as I try to figure out God's purpose for my life, to turn those struggles and fears over to the only One who can meet my every need. His grace is enough...
"For the LORD is a sun and a shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Oh LORD almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you." Ps. 84:11-12
Starbucks is a great place to get some work done. Yesterday, I sat in my room all day and "worked" on papers that needed to be graded and recorded. I took frequent breaks to check my e-mail, surf the web or play a game on the computer. Not only that, but there was football on tv. I mean, I HAD to watch football, right? Needless to say, I didn't get much done. That meant that today was the day to finish up. So, after lunch, I grabbed my school bag and headed to the Starbucks. I mean, I was serious. With the help of a Grande Carmel Macciatto, those papers got graded in about two hours. Did I mention that I'd spent all day on them yesterday? Anyway, to the point of my story...
I finished up around 8:00pm, so I decided to go check out CityFest and see if things were still going on there. I found a great parking spot since a lot of folks with kids were leaving. As I wandered up to the main stage I started to feel really lonely. I was supposed to go with some girls from church, but that fell through. I made it to the stage right as Luis Palau was finishing his message. I realized if I'd come earlier, I could have helped out with decision counseling or something, but I hadn't been on the ball enough to sign up and show up.
So here I was, wandering through the crowd looking for familiar faces. I saw a few, but they were with significant others, so I kept walking. Chris Tomlin was about to go on, so I stuck around. As he started leading the crowd in worship, that lonely feeling intensified. Here were all these people with their friends and families around them worshipping God and I was all alone. I watched the people raising their hands, eyes closed, lost in the moment of worship and I thought this is what Heaven will be like, only without the loneliness and I can't wait for that day when I won't ever feel alone in a crowd again.
Then it hit me the words I was singing. "Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough for me." I was singing because I knew the words, but I wasn't really singing to God. I wasn't taking to heart the fact that even though I was there alone, I wasn't really alone and not only that, but the God who was there with me, in me, was enough for me. I won't tell you that I instantly felt good about being there alone. After all, God did design us for relationships, but I knew I would be ok and that even though I was experiencing a moment of loneliness, I was there for a reason. I needed to learn to lean on God's grace and find it enough for me in that moment. I stayed to the end and even bought a CD, then left still feeling alone, but knowing that no matter how lonely I feel, there will always be enough grace for me. I'm challenged as I struggle with my singleness and as I try to figure out God's purpose for my life, to turn those struggles and fears over to the only One who can meet my every need. His grace is enough...
"For the LORD is a sun and a shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Oh LORD almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you." Ps. 84:11-12
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